


Pearls Of Wisdom Before A Porcelain God

by MichellesPenScratchz



Series: Scattershots [25]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Humor, No Romance, One Shot, Pre-Tales from the Borderlands, Short One Shot, Triple Drabble, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichellesPenScratchz/pseuds/MichellesPenScratchz
Summary: Vasquez imparts wisdom of dubious quality to Vaughn in the Helios men's room.
Relationships: Vaughn & Hugo Vasquez
Series: Scattershots [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951531
Kudos: 6





	Pearls Of Wisdom Before A Porcelain God

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this [Tumblr prompt](https://michellespensctratchz.tumblr.com/post/635698389159378944/whumpster-dumpster-injury-discovery-dialogue).

“Well, well, well!” Hugo Vasquez strode into the men’s room on Helios. Vaughn was standing at the sink, hurriedly trying to unroll his sleeve back to his wrist, one moment too late. “What do we have here?” Vasquez continued.

“Uh, n-nothing, Vasquez,” the accountant stammered. “I was just on my way back out to--”

Vasquez seized Vaughn’s arm and examined the cigar burn mark in his skin. “Hmm, not bad, not half bad. Looks like the handiwork of an import. An expensive one at that. How long have you been covering this, Bean Counter?”

Vaughn sighed. “Since that party for the Hyperion Board.”

“Aw, how sweet.” Vasquez turned the burn mark this way and that, as though admiring it as a work of art. “Little parting gift when you asked them to approve a raise, maybe?”

Again, Vaughn sighed. “Something like that, as if it’s any concern of yours. Excuse me, I’m late to get back to my desk.” He tried to push past.

Hugo chuckled, putting a hand on Vaughn’s shoulder to stop him in his tracks. “Vaughn, my man, you and your two little friends had better figure out how things work around here, and fast. You’re lucky it was just a Board member, and not Handsome Jack.” He leaned in. “My offer to take you under my wing still stands. You gotta have friends in high places in Hyperion. I could show you how to make the most of your position in Accounting.”

 _If I wanted to cook books, I’d do it on my own, thanks,_ Vaughn thought. Instead he said. “I’ll take my chances.”

“Whatever.” Vasquez jerked a thumb towards the door. “Get outta here. I gotta drain the snake, and I’d hate for you to feel inadequate while I’m doing it, know what I’m saying?”


End file.
